Thanksgiving: Supporting Autistic Kids in Dr. Lisa’s OT Clinic

As Thanksgiving approaches, I am thinking about the students, teachers, and parents I support each week. This time of year brings excitement, but it also brings sensory shifts, schedule changes, and emotional strain for many neurodivergent children. In the middle of that mix, certain moments keep me grounded. They remind me why this work matters and how powerful small, attuned interactions can be.

These moments are simple. They are meaningful. They show what is possible when adults move away from interpreting behavior as something to control and instead focus on what a child’s actions communicate.

Three recent experiences stand out.

A Moment of Self Understanding and Advocacy for an Autistic Child

Ollie is nine. During a recent OT session, he told me he did not want to work on a story that day. Usually we practice speech to text by writing funny stories together. But he said his body and brain wanted to build something instead.

His request was clear, calm, and grounded in what he felt internally.

This was not avoidance. It was self awareness. It was a child recognizing his state, naming it, and trusting that an adult would take him seriously. When a child communicates what their nervous system needs and an adult honors it, that is real progress. It builds regulation. It builds confidence. And it tells the child that their internal cues matter.

I left that session grateful for his clarity and for the relationship that made it possible.

A Teacher Who Chose Connection Over Compliance with an Autistic Student

The second moment came in an IEP meeting for a young Autistic student I support.

His teacher shared that he now uses a card to signal when he needs a break. When he feels strain building, he simply lifts the card. She sees it and adjusts without hesitation.

That small exchange represents a larger shift. Instead of demanding compliance or expecting him to push through, this teacher is responding to his communication. She is letting him guide his own regulation within the school day. He does not have to hide his needs or wait for permission. He can signal, she can act, they stay connected, and he

remains regulated.

This is what happens when a teacher centers relationship and trust. It creates safety. It creates predictability. And it allows a child to stay engaged rather than overwhelmed.

I walked out of that meeting grateful for educators who choose understanding over control.

A Mom Who Connected the “Sensory Dots”

The third moment came through a parent conversation. The mother of an eight-year-old Autistic girl said she noticed that her daughter becomes “silly” a few minutes before she shuts down and becomes situationally mute.

For this child, silliness is not a sign of joy or comfort. It is a sign of overwhelm. It signals that her system is losing capacity and edging toward shutdown.

That insight changes how adults respond. Instead of seeing her behavior as defiance or immaturity, her mother now sees it as communication. She can intervene earlier, support her daughter sooner, and prevent escalation. This understanding gives the child a more responsive environment and gives the parent a clearer path to connection.

What These Moments Show Us

These three experiences share a common thread. Each one reflects an adult who chose to understand behavior rather than correct it. Each one involved someone noticing early signs of strain or regulation shifts and responding with support.

Whether it was Ollie recognizing his own needs, a teacher watching for a break card, or a parent tracking the meaning of “silly,” the pattern is the same.

This approach stands in contrast to traditional behaviorism, which often teaches adults to focus on surface actions and to view behaviors as problems to fix. But when we shift our lens to regulation and nervous system capacity, behavior takes on a new meaning. It becomes information. It becomes communication. And our role becomes supporting, not controlling.

Students thrive when adults stay curious. They thrive when adults listen to what behavior signals. And they thrive when adults support regulation instead of pushing past it.

For professionals and caregivers who want to learn more about understanding behavior through a neurodiversity affirming and regulation-based lens, my “Insight to Autism” courses offer clear frameworks and practical tools.

I work to help OTs, teachers, parents, and other professionals read nervous system cues, understand what behaviors communicate, and build supports that help children feel safe and engaged.

These moments in my clinic remind me that real change happens when adults shift how they interpret behavior. When we read children’s cues with respect and respond with support, we create spaces where they can learn, connect, and grow. This season is a good time to reflect on that work and recommit to it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

More from Dr. Lisa Marnell and Kids Master Skills . . .

For School-Based OTPS -

This fall Dr. Lisa launched an 8-hour, AOTA-approved professional development entitled, "Insight to Autism for School-Based OTs"!

This self-paced, online course provides 8 AOTA Contact Hours (0.8 AOTA CEUs) and walks OTPs through a process to bettter understand their Autistic students, support them in schools in ways that align with their Autistic neurobiology (enabling them to feel less stress and experience better quality of life), and show them how to optimize Autistic students' learning while also guiding teachers, staff, and admin to adopt neuroaffirming practices!

Check out Dr. Lisa's professional development at this picture link!

For parents, teacher, or other school professionals -

You can take Dr. Lisa's course tailored for you! Learn more about a course for you at this picture link!

If you want to learn more ways to support your autistic students, watch my FREE MasterClass that offers you proactive supports for sensory sensitive children and teens.

Register and watch it HERE: https://www.kidsmasterskills.com/ 

Also, do you have my 10 Neurodiversity-Affirming posters? Download them HERE! 

As always, feel welcome to touch base with me by e-mail at KidsMasterSkills@gmail.com

I would love to hear about your successes, your struggles, your feedback, and any questions or comments you have! Let me know if this post was helpful.